But Ma, I don't want to!

Sometimes in life, you have to do things you really don't have a desire to do. For some of you, it's going to work, for others it may be helping your kids with homework and for most of us, paying bills ranks at the top of the list. But I want to encourage you today with this thought: the very thing you probably don't want to do doesn't take much for you to do it. "OH WOW Coach Fon, never thought of it that way."

See a lot of times, we spend more time dreading what we have to do, than actually performing the task itself, which makes it seem like it takes forever to do it. Of course our attitudes play a major role because our hearts desire one thing, but our responsibility tells us, we have to do it. As a life coach, I would ask you...Why do you have to do it?

You probably gave a reason why, but I encourage you to change your thoughts about what you are doing and ask yourself why. If it's necessary for you to do it because you need to work to pay bills or need to help the kids be their best by helping them with their homework, then you know why you must do it.

Once you clarify your why, then you can change your attitude and thoughts. Instead of saying "I have to go to work" or "I have to help the kids with their homework" or "I have to pay bills," change your statement to: "I want to go to work because_________." or "I want to help the kids with their homework because_______."

By simply changing the way you think about the task, you free up your energy blocker and get it done faster and feel even more accomplished because you understand why you are doing it.

Remove the "But, Ma I don't want to" attitude to a "I want to because____" attitude.

Be Encouraged and Be Blessed!
Coach Fon

Coach Fon says...Be thankful and break it down!

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What will you be thankful for this time next year...that means in January 2011, what will you be glad you did this year?

In order to accomplish everything God has planned for you to accomplish this year, you must stay close and communicate with God on a daily basis. Whether you goal is to be more this or less that, keeping God at the center of everything you do will lead to a more victorious win at the end of the year. Got a lot that you want to accomplish this year?

A good way to break down your goals is to create quarterly goals. What will you have completed by the end of March? What about the end of June? And so on...
If you break down your tasks into smaller, bite-sized pieces, you will regain the power you need to get them done. How do you eat an elephant...one bite at a time.

Often times, we get bogged down and become overwhelmed with all the things we are trying to do and we end up doing nothing. Break them down and prioritize them based on where you are in your life right now. Things that don't really matter...scratch them from the list and from your thoughts. They're simply taking up space.

Create your quarterly goals from your yearly goals. Then break down your quarterly goals into monthly goals. Then break down your monthly goals into weekly goals. Then break them down into daily goals. Then break your daily goals down into morning, afternoon, and night.

As you can see, that's a lot of breaking it down, but the more you can break it down, the easier it will be to reach your goals.

I encourage you today to be thankful and to break it down.

Be Blessed and always stay encouraged in 2010!

Please Note: This blog will now be updated every Monday. Yep, I am breaking it down...to a weekly encouragement blog. Check back on Mondays for updates or subscribe to the blog to get updates automatically.

Coach Fon

Oops, it's almost year end and I still need to...

Hey Friends,

Does that sound like you: "Oops, it's almost year end and I still need to ___________."

Many of us set out in 2009 to make this our year. We had dreams of doing big things with taglines, like: "Shine in '09" or "It's my time in '09," but this year has come and there are only a few more weeks left for us to shine in 2009.

Where are you with those goals you set out to achieve? If you look at your list and see that there are still many things to do, you may be suffering from a syndrome called: setting unrealistic expectations. But I want to quickly follow that with, it's okay, you'll do better next time.

But back to the unrealistic expecations: we often start out a new year full of momentum to conquer the world, but then we start slowing up and losing momentum and before you know it, we're all out of gas and left on empty to complete our goals. We know they are still there, because we spend the rest of the year worrying about not reaching them and kicking ourselves for aiming too high. Let me encourage you as you close out this year.

While you may have set high expectations for yourself, you surely had to have accomplished something, if not all things. Congratulate and commend yourself for getting those one or two things done! You did that!!! Now as you reflect on the year and look at what you still need to accomplish, ask yourself the following questions:

1) Is everything on my list still important to me?

2) What's a more realistic deadline for getting this task done?

3) What's the worst that could happen if I don't get it done?

4) How will I feel once I get it done?

When you answer that last question, you connect to the core reason why you are putting that item on the list. Sometimes we say we want to do things, but lack motivation to get them done. Usually that's because deep down, it really doesn't matter if we get it done or not, it's just one of those things we feel we need to do. But it's not that important to us, because otherwise we would have gotten it done.

As you plan out the rest of the year with Thanksgiving gatherings and Christmas celebrations, check your list twice and make sure that what's on your list, really matters to you. If not, give yourself permission to let those items go. You'll feel relieved, and you'll now have the room to plan for 2010...but remember the lesson your learned from 2009, and make sure your plans are realistic for you.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving and remember, it's hard to be negative and thankful at the same time. Carry the spirit of Thanksgiving with you always and negative energy won't have a chance!

Be Encouraged and Be Blessed,

Coach Fon
www.fonjames.com

Fon James November 09 Appearances (Jackson, MS)

Hey Mississippi...I'll be there soon!
Check me out at the following stops:

Thursday, November 5th
12:30 p.m.
WLBT Channel 3 - Midday Mississippi Show

Thursday, November 5th
5 p.m. - 7 p.m.
Barnes and Noble Bookstore
Ridgeland, MS (off of I-55 N)

Friday, November 6th
11 a.m. - 2 p.m.
JSU Campus Bookstore (JSU Homecoming Weekend)
Jackson, MS

Saturday, November 7th
JSU Homecoming Parade and Football Game
Jackson, MS

For more information about appearances or to book me for your next event...visit: www.fonjames.com

Excerpt from new novel Forward March

Hey everyone,
Here is an excerpt from my new novel coming out this summer called, Forward March.

Chapter One

“Ms. Walker, you’ve done it! You scored the multimillion dollar account to do the advertising campaign for celebrity Christian artist and model Shay Praise and Pure Beauty Bars,” Josie Bartrand shrieked. “You’ve only been here for a little over a year and you have managed to win one of the most sought out new accounts in the advertising industry!”
“Well, Josie, it’s all in a day’s work. I knew I was cut out for this stuff,” Faith blushed. She had done her thing selling the folks over at Shay’s company and Pure Beauty, convincing them to go with Elite Advertising as their newest advertising firm. “But I couldn’t have done it without the entire team though. I may have come up with the ad concepts, but I definitely didn’t do the art work. Malik did his thing too, isn’t that right Malik?” she asked as he walked past the glass doors of her 30th floor office.
Since moving from Mississippi to San Francisco, Faith had made her mark in the advertising world. Many of the employees at Elite had heard about her achievements, but she didn’t want to rest on her previous accomplishments, she knew in order to move up in the ad world, she had to hit them with something big and this big deal was just that.
“If it ain’t the big-timer who got us the big deal,” Malik schmoozed. “I am just happy to be a part of your team Faith. I mean, I am just elated that we work together,” he laughed.
Faith and Malik had been cool since she landed in San Francisco. He had been the one to pick her up from the airport and take her around town to show her all the hot spots. As one of only a few African-Americans in the company, Elite made sure they sent someone they thought Faith could relate to. She was glad they had. There was nothing more irritating than being new and trying to get to know someone who wasn’t cool or acting stuffy. Being from Mississippi, the hospitality state, Faith knew when she saw Malik, everything would be a-ok!
“Whatever Malik! You know we couldn’t have landed this deal without your magic graphic fingers! We did this together… along with the rest of the team,” she said while clearing her throat and correcting her statement before someone took offense. She and Malik knew exactly who won the account with the African-American celebrity. It was them! The other people were simply on the project team.
As more people stopped by to congratulate Faith on a job well done, she realized that this career had been a great choice. While at Jackson State, she had often dreamed of landing a big time deal that would take her over the top, but she always knew she had to remain grounded, so after everyone left her office, she talked to the real man who had made this deal possible.
Lord, it’s me. I just want to thank you for this deal. I know that I couldn’t have done anything without you. I thank you for putting me with the right people like Malik and for making us successful. Lord, I thank…
Before she could finish her statement, Anastasia busted into her office.
“Faith, girl you did your thang huh. All that overtime with Malik really paid off. I thought you guys were just up here messing around during those late night hours.”
Controlling the pupils of her eyes that she absolutely wanted to roll, Faith swiveled her chair to meet Anastasia face to face.
“Hi Anastasia,” she acknowledged her presence with a dry tone. “Do you ever knock before just barging into people’s offices? I could have been on the phone or something.”
“You didn’t look like you were doing anything to me. You looked like you were sleeping. So you’re lucky I came in here before one of the manager’s stopped by and saw you slacking off already. Don’t think because you got that new deal they ‘re still not watching us.”
Other than Faith and Malik, Anastasia was the other lone African-American at the company. She was an administrative assistant and always seemed to speak negative every chance she could get. Faith wasn’t trying to hear anything negative today though. Not after landing one of the biggest deals to ever hit Elite.
“What’s up Ana? What is it that you want?”
Anastasia moved around to Faith’s side of the big contemporary espresso-colored desk and sat on the edge and crossed her legs. “Look, don’t be acting all brand new because you did something big. You are still black and they are still only going to let you go so far. You hear me Faith. Them people will only let you go so far before they cap your butt! Look at me. Shoot, I started as a temp and I haven’t gotten anything from them other than a permanent assistant job. Don’t you know I gots one of them fancy degrees too?”
Faith noticed her chest heave up and down as she breathed out a sigh. She wasn’t in the mood today to hear Anastasia’s, poor-black- woman-who-can’t- move- up- in- the- corporate- world, story. It was beginning to get old. Plus adding an ‘s’ to the word “got” made her sound like she didn’t have a degree.
“Ana, I appreciate you coming in to let me know that I still haven’t arrived yet. I will make sure I kick my A game up and be ready for whatever the corporate big wigs try to throw my way. Thank you, girl. You really do know how to keep a girl on her toes.”
“Oh you welcome Faith. You know I got your back. We’s got to stick together you know. That’s how they do. They stick together and get each other jobs and everything. By the way, I heard that Cynthia is considering hiring a junior account executive to assist you with the new account. Think you can put in a good word for ya girl?” Anastasia popped her gum and switched it from the left to the right while waiting on an answer. Faith didn’t know what to say. There was no way she was going to recommend her. What would that do to her reputation? Everybody knew that Anastasia was looking for a hand-out anytime a job came open, whether she qualified for the job or not. She just wanted a hook-up.
“Quick Faith, think of something to get out of this,” she said while frantically wracking her brain. Just as she was about to try to think of something, Cynthia walked in. “Thank you God because I know you didn’t want me to lie to that girl.”
“Hi Faith,” Cynthia said with a perky voice. Then she half-heartedly spoke to Anastasia, which Ana took as her cue to dip out of Faith’s office.
“Just wanted to come by and commend you again on a great job.” Faith noticed Anastasia still lurking by the door, making eye and hand gestures behind Cynthia as if to say with her eyes, “hook a sistah up.” Faith diverted her attention back to Cynthia just in time to nod and smile.
“So what are your plans to celebrate? We would love to take you out for drinks if you are down?” Faith hated when her managers tried to act like they were as young as she was. Cynthia was especially the worst one. She even went as far as trying to dress young with short skirts and tight suits. Cynthia was 55 years old, but unlike most women her age, she kept herself fairly well. Her short pixie hair cut complimented her tanned Caucasian skin and slim build. She wore the latest in designer suits and always smelled of Chanel. Jewelry was her vice. She had to wear something that clanked and banged. You could always hear her coming. It was her signature.
“Well, I was actually thinking about having a little something at my apartment tonight. You know I’m more of a homebody. You’re definitely welcome to come over.”
“Faith, why don’t you let Elite pick up the tab on your house partay. You order what you want from our preferred caterer and have them deliver it. I’ll have some wine delivered from our favorite winery and it’ll be a blast.”
“Well I hadn’t really…”
“Faith, really! Let me do this for you. You deserve so much for all your hard work. So it’s a done deal. Have Anastasia email you the catering menu since she normally handles all of the catering for our office. I’ll tell her what the plans are and she’ll handle everything for you.”
Faith hesitantly accepted. She really didn’t want to have a big shin-dig at her place, but since Elite was picking up the tab, may as well make the best of it. After Cynthia left, she sent Malik an email:
“GUESS WHAT? ELITE IS PICKING UP THE TAB FOR MY GET-TOGETHER AT THE APARTMENT. YOU KNOW IT’S ON FOR REAL NOW. WE GONE HAVE MORE THAN SODA POP. CYNTHIA SENDING THE WINERY OVER. LOL.”
Malik responded almost immediately: “OH THAT’S WHAT’S UP FA SHO. I KNOW I AM GOING TO GET MY BUZZ ON NOW (KIDDING). BECAUSE YOU KNOW YOUR BOY DON’T DRINK. BUT DO MAKE SURE YOU ORDER SOME GOOD FOOD AND NOT ANY OF THAT FOO-FOO MESS WE ALWAYS HAVE HERE AT THE OFFICE. GET SOME WINGS, MEATBALLS, EGG ROLLS, ROTEL DIP. LOL. JUST PLAYING. THEY PROBABLY DON’T EVEN HAVE ROTEL DIP ON THAT FOO-FOO CATERING MENU. LATA.
The next new message on Faith’s email was from Anastasia. “I ALREADY KNOW YOU GONE INVITE YOUR GIRL. CYNTHIA JUST GAVE ME MY PECKING ORDERS, SO JUST LET ME KNOW WHAT YOU WANT ME TO ORDER AND I WILL MAKE IT HAPPEN “BOSS LADY” LOL. JUST PLAYIN GIRL. DON’T FORGET TO HOOK A SISTAH UP.” Faith laughed. She had pegged Ana perfectly when she was gesturing earlier. She sent her an email back requesting the food and confirmed her attendance for the night time affiar. Just as she was about to close out of her email, a new email popped up. It was him.

End of Excerpt....Craving more...Pre-Order your copy now!

Some Good 'Ole Laughter (te he he he)

Hey Everybody,
I know that I haven't blogged in a while, but today I just want to come to you for a quick minute and share an encouraging word.

Yesterday at my church (The Fort Bend Church in Sugarland, TX) we had an awesome treat, outside of the wonderful word preached by my pastor. A gospel comedian by the name of Marcus D. Wiley visited our church. Oh my goodness! He was so hilarious! Of course I had heard him before on Praise 92.1 (The Yolanda Adams Morning Show), but just seeing him and hearing him in person was even better than radio. We laughed so hard and I began to wonder why my pastor invited him on Physical Health Sunday.

Well, after we laughed so hard, I understood why. Laughter is truly good for the soul. One of the things that Marcus said in his comedy bit was that you have to choose to be happy. And I agree. Happiness is definitely a choice and you must choose it everyday. No matter what your circumstances are, you can still choose to be happy.

Our congregation laughed soooo hard on Sunday and I began to ponder what it would be like if we could have a "Marcus" moment every Sunday for praise and worship. Wouldn't that be another great way to usher in the Spirit...with laughter? Well even though we won't have Marcus at our church every Sunday, I am choosing to enter into the Lord's house with a smile and an attitude of happiness. As Marcus said yesterday, God is not spooky, He's cool, so let's smile and act like it.

You may be saying, "But Fon, I don't have anything to smile or laugh about." Well I suggest you just think about the goodness of Jesus and how He's blessed you. That's a "te, he-he-he, umph, umph, umph, smile moment right there." I am sometimes referred to as the comedian in my family (me and few others), but I am no Marcus D. Wiley, so if you want to sho nuff laugh, go to Marcus's website or listen to him on Praise 92.1 in the mornings. And you don't have to be in Houston to listen. Praise 92.1 streams live on the web.

Listen and you'll soon be laughing...I guarantee it!

Have a blessed day and don't forget to live, love and laugh today!

Fon

A note from Faith...

Hi fellow reading fans, this is Faith Walker, from the novel Back and Forth. Just wanted to let you know that I am starring in another Fon James creation. Yes, Fon has brought me back so that you can continue to follow my life after graduating from Jackson State.

As you know, I am now living in San Francisco and I have the best job ever! And I've made some new connections (wink wink). Life is good in San Francisco, but when I allow myself to dwell on the past, I sometimes get a little stuck on it. I mean, I got over the fact that my best friend Chrissy slept with my boyfriend Gavin, guess I should say ex-boyfriend Gavin. Then I got over the fact that they now have a child. And I know you probably thought it was stupid of me to become the child's godmother, but I did it anyway. Oh well, I'm trying to move on with my life, but like I said, when I let my mind drift, I think about all I left in Mississippi.

Well anyway, it was good catching up with you...check me out in the sequel. It's called Forward March! You can pre-order it now on Fon's website. I hope I can march forward with my new life in Cali. Guess we'll see!

Lata,
Faith

P.S. Thanks Fon for letting me write on your blog today!